Our Family Therapist Saved Us from Relationship Claustrophobia.

It's been five years since our marriage and I don't know when it started or how it started. I was feeling claustrophobic. 

Not only I, but my husband was also yearning for some time apart. The feeling was foreign and alien, and it took us both by surprise. How can a married couple who dreamt about spending their lives together think about spending time apart? I felt guilty. We both did.

 

 

We hid what we wanted (a little time for ourselves) and started to act like everything was normal. For instance, when my husband returned from work and wanted to watch a movie together (our routine), I pretended to be excited and sat through it. Even though what I wanted was to spend some time with my book. 

My husband was also putting up the act of enjoying the movie because it was "our routine" - I found about it in our marriage and family therapist's office in Newtown.

I am sure that many couples like us feel the pangs of "relationship claustrophobia." They feel guilty about their thought of spending time alone and ends up hiding what they want, souring their relationship in the process.

So, what can you do when you and your partner love each other but find the constant togetherness claustrophobic? Here are three tips from our family therapist in North Kolkata that saved us from relationship claustrophobia.

Rediscover Old Hobbies

When you feel bored and want to do something alone, you can work on your old hobbies. For instance, my husband and I kept some time for ourselves - he worked on his guitar skills and I was on my canvas. This time apart did not pull us away from each other but made us happier and more fulfilled.

Give Each Other a Break 

You don't have to talk, engage and share your interests with each other all the time, says our family counsellor in Rajarhat. Like our little routine of watching movies together, you may also have some rituals of your own. Couple rituals are important for a happy relationship; however, that does not mean that you cannot take a break for yourself. 

Once in a while, it is okay to do something else instead of pretending to enjoy your time together. Communicate with each other and allow yourselves a little time apart.

Do Not Expect Your Partner to Meet All Your Needs 

My husband is my best friend and my dearest companion; however, that does not mean I get to dump all my expectations on him. Similarly, you should not expect your partner to meet all your emotional needs. There are other social and familial relationships that we all should look towards for support. Embrace the love of everyone you know and not just one person.